Adventures in Potty Training

Peter has been working on potty training himself for the past few months.  He's doing quite well and I think this weekend will be the one where we buckle down and just get it done.  But in the meantime, he's been using the potty several times a day (mostly to earn himself 3 m&ms!)

His regular routine is to go before bed.  He normally does really well by himself, putting the little seat topper on and getting himself settled.  Mr. Brown & I were a few minutes behind in joining him in the bathroom. 

All of a sudden we hear crying-type screaming from the bathroom. Worried, we head in there. Peter is shouting "I can't get out! I can't get out!"

What do we find upon our arrival, bottom down in the water of the toilet! He had not put the little seat topper on and doesn't yet know how to position/hold himself up so he'd fallen in. And he couldn't pull himself back out! It took all that I had not to laugh out loud while helping him out and getting the little seat on for him. He was so so upset but it was so darn funny. Mr. Brown and I just looked at each other, both ready to burst out laughing.

Hurricane Toddler

When we had just one child, even when we had just one toddler, I was reasonably able to keep up on housework.  Things were not perfect but in general rooms were picked up and presentable should someone unexpectedly stop by.

Now that there are two tiny tornados that run through my house each day I have found it IMPOSSIBLE to keep things at an acceptable level of chaos.  There is always something... toys strewn about, miscellaneous bits of toast or waffle on the floors, missing sippy cups that turn up underneath recliners, and just general bedlam.

Given my health issues and business we have agreed to bring someone in every other week to do the real cleaning.  And that is a huge blessing.  They get the floors and toilets clean and change the sheets.  I'm actually not quite sure how we did it before they started coming.  But even with that it just seems to spiral out of control daily.  Don't misread me here... I am not looking for perfection or a spotless house or passing the white glove test.  Far from it.  I can handle a certain level of dishevelment.  But almost every day it passes my threshold. 

I have routines.  Sort of.  We make sure to do the dinner dishes every night, wipe down the table and counters and sweep the kitchen.  We pick up toys before bedtime.  And yet nearly daily I find myself rushing to get out of the house and so things that I would have intended to pick up before leaving for the day are left for when we get home.  And when we get home it's a whirlwind of dinner, playtime, bathtime & bedtime followed by an exhausted me and Mr Brown trudging through the absolutely necessary chores and leaving the rest for tomorrow.

Getting up earlier is not an option.  My alarm already rings at 5am and that's only if the oldest tornado doesn't wake me sooner.  I can't be functional before 5.  Not gonna happen.

So, moms with more than one toddler... how do you do it?

Tears, tantrums....two

"Terrible Twos"
I've done some reading and it seems there is a misconception that the Terrible Twos is really when a child is two years old. The experts I've researched seem to think it is really the second year of life - when a child is one. I personally think it is the 6 months before and after a child's 2nd birthday.

My docile, easy-going daughter is certainly living up to that expectation. She is still fun to be with... when she's not crying over something. And those moments are becoming fewer and farther between. She's been putting us through the ringer the last few weeks. Most of the time the tantrum is because she wants to do or have something that her daddy or I have deemed unsafe (touching the utensils in the dishwasher), unnecessary (another cup of water after she deliberately spilled the first) or "not right now" (another round of teeth-brushing when it's really time to get out of the house). The tantrums manifest themselves usually with screaming/crying, tears and emphatic "NO"s shouted toward the offending party or object. Sometimes she likes to crash into things that I'm certain must smart when she hits them.

Our usual response to a tantrum is no response. Unless she is somewhere she might get hurt (in which case I will pick her up and move her to a more safe location - i.e. the middle of the floor), we let her have her fit. I refuse to engage with a screaming banshee. When she calms down we can discuss what she wants and work on moving on to another activity.

However, yesterday she was so mad at me (I can't recall exactly why) that as she stormed from the room she decided to show her frustration by plunking her brother on top of his head. Poor Peter was simply minding his own business lying on the floor when he got a decent smack. That resulted in immediate removal to time-out. To understand the effectiveness of time-out for Allison you have to know that she adores being near us. She wants to be in whatever room we are in (usually me) and doesn't like to be alone much. So being in a time-out when no one is engaging with you and they are all usually in another area (where I can still see her) is an extremely cruel and unusual punishment. But it works. We managed to move on from the tantrum and she made heartfelt apologies to both me and Peter.

Another new routine is crying insanely when she really wants something that I either won't give her or can't give her just yet (because I'm doing something else). The strategy we are currently imploying is to respond that we will not respond to screaming. If she wants something she can make a reasonable request - either with words (if she knows them) or with gestures and other calm methods. As soon as she stops screaming I'll ask again what she wants and if she tells me without shouting or crying I'll comply (assuming it's safe/ok).

If you are dealing with toddler tantrums (or have in the past), what methods work for you?

The First Tantrum

Last night we had our first true toddler tantrum. It was sort of my fault. Although in my defense I had very good intentions.

Allison did a great job eating dinner - she LOVED her pasta sauce (my homemade sauce). Not so much the pasta, but she gobbled up the sauce. After getting cleaned up from the sauce all over her face and hands we got her down from the high chair and gave her a graham cracker for dessert.

This is where the trouble starts. AFTER I had already handed off the graham cracker I noticed that there was a bunch of pasta on the floor by her high chair. In an effort to curb the act of pushing food onto the floor we have started making Allison help pick up her droppings after dinner. Last night was no exception. I told her it was time to clean up and I would need to take her cracker and she could have it back when we were done. Oh man did that set off the screams and tears. You would have thought I tore the last morsel of food she would ever be allowed from her lips.

I spent a good 2 minutes (it felt like 10) talking her down from the tantrum Dr. Karp style. She was still pretty upset but I managed to get her to help pick up the pasta and walk to the garbage can. She had 2 pieces in her hands. I got her to drop the first piece in the can, no problem. But she wouldn't drop the 2nd piece and started to walk away with it. "Yucky" I said and explained that it needed to go in the garbage. I then gently (I swear!) removed it from her hand and threw it away. Again with the last supper tears! Another minute of tantrum reduction efforts, and the return of her graham cracker plus a cup of milk calmed things down.

One minute later - happy as a clam.

Oh boy!