Baby Mary

I found this article especially inspirational.  It's a few months old now but I am posting it today in honor of Mary's birthday.

It's hard for me to imagine how this young mother handled this stress on top of her already overwhelming lingering days at Our Lady's University.  Her strength is amazing.  And it's such a refreshing voice for the choice of life.

Happy 10th birthday to this little girl I have never.  I pray all the best things for you.

Becoming The Browns - Part 8

We were dating.  We were happy.  Really happy.  We were in love.  (I think.)

For 2 years Mr. Brown and I lived very happily in our little world of new romance (in separate apartments, of course).  We took trips and did couple-y things and just had a great time. 

And since life was going so well I finally decided the time was right to finish that Master’s degree I’d been working on.  I was sick of my job and didn’t really see a future with the company I was with.  I was ready to do something I really enjoyed.  I knew that the part-time school/full-time work combo would never work for me.  I’d done a few classes through Georgia Tech but I never really enjoyed it.  I missed the school atmosphere.  I needed to be on campus with my fellow students.

I new I didn’t want to leave the mid-west at this point so I narrowed my options to two schools. Purdue University and The University of Michigan.  Purdue was one of my original school choices back in my senior year.  It is a great engineering school.  Michigan, on the other hand, was never a place I considered.  It was MICHIGAN for crying out loud.  We from Notre Dame have some “affectionate” terms for our neighbors to the north that cannot be repeated in polite company.  But, at this point, I was open to the idea since U-M had a really great IE department.

I applied to both schools and was accepted at both schools.  What a relief!  Did I mention that Mr. Brown is from Michigan?  Not just any part of Michigan… he grew up in Ann Arbor!  His mom works for the University.  Both of his parents have undergraduate and Master’s degrees from the University.  The truth is, his parentage didn’t sway my decision.  But I did kind of see the writing on the wall.  If I went to Purdue, Mr. Brown and I would surely break up.  And I wasn’t ready for a break up.  He might come visit once or twice but  certainly things would have fizzled quickly.  That drive down I-65 from Chicago to West Lafayette isn’t exactly the kind of setting for a romantic-comedy. 

If I chose Michigan we might break up.  But there was at least a fighting chance.  Making that drive to A2 across the lower peninsula wasn’t exactly inspiring but at least at the other end of there was someone he might like to see besides me – mostly his older brother who he is very close with.

So I decided on U-M.  It was a great school.  Ranked #3 in Industrial Engineering.  And I might, just might, have a chance of staying together with Mr. Brown.  I was so excited to tell him. 

And what did he say…. “I don’t really want to have a long-distance relationship.  I’ve done that and it didn’t work out very well.”  WHAT?!?  I was shocked.  Yes it was long-distance but this wasn’t the stone ages.  We had e-mail and cell phones and, um, cars to drive the 4.5 hours.  And it was a 1 year commitment on my part.  It wasn’t like I was moving to Siberia for a decade.  I was moving to his HOMETOWN for ONE YEAR!  (yes, the yelling is intentional.  I wanted to slap him upside his head.)

So we decided on “we’ll see how it goes.”  Not exactly the reaction I was hoping for but I could live with it for now.

And for those of you keeping count… this is Mr. Brown’s 3^rd attempt to break up with me.  Poor guy… he really never had a chance.

Allison's 2 year pictures (May 2009)

15 pictures
Click here to view these pictures larger

Becoming The Browns - Part 7

When we last left off… Mr. Brown and I broke up.  I was very sad.

But I did what any reasonable 20-something would do and I got my butt to the gym.  A lot.  And I went out with friends.  A lot.  My dear friend Stephanie and I and her sister found this little sports bar that we made our own and had a standing Thursday night date there.  We laughed and drank and flirted.  It was a great time and I have so many fun memories of that summer.  And I dropped 10 pounds. 

I ran into Mr. Brown one day at work and he oh-so-casually suggested that we “get together” sometime.  He was being very obtuse about the whole thing.  But he did actually call so we did get together.  And for a few weeks (maybe two) we hung out again.  We had a few fun dates including a drive up to Milwaukee for a meal including pork products, cheese and beer – because really what’s a trip to Wisconsin without those three ingredients.  And one night we headed downtown to my old roommate Janet’s apartment for a night of Euchre with her and her boyfriend (who is now her husband of 6 years).  We had a great time.  Such a great time that I figured it was time to ask where he saw things going with us.  Turns out he saw things going exactly nowhere.  He enjoyed hanging out but his thoughts on our future hadn’t changed.  And so again, we stopped seeing each other.  If you are keeping score, this is brush-off #2.

So I moved on.  I kept doing my normal things and didn’t worry much about him or any other guy.  But then a funny thing happened.  And then a not-so-funny thing happened.  First, the funny thing… I met someone.  He wasn’t husband material but he was fun.  And he liked me.  And we got together a few times. 

What was Mr. Brown doing during this time?  From what I gather, he was going out with other girls.  Girls that he thought were his *type*.  But I suspect that going out with people he had pictured as his type led him to the realization that sometimes what you think you want isn’t what you really ever wanted at all.

Then the not-so-funny thing.  Not at all funny actually.  September 11, 2001.  The world stood still.  Like everyone else in the country I spent several days in complete shock and disbelief, glued to my television, not getting much sleep, praying for friends with missing loved ones (I love you AKB!)  And then I remembered that Mr. Brown was supposed to be in New York that week and I thought he was supposed to be coming home right around the 11^th.  So I called his apartment and talked to his roommate and found out that indeed he was booked on a flight home on the 11^th but it had, of course, been canceled.  Instead he was on a greyhound bus home and the roommate said he’d tell him I called.

What happened to Mr. Brown in New York that day.  He was actually in the World Trade Center on September 10^th.  He and Mark had been on a vacation and that was one of their last stops before flying home.  When they arrived at the airport on Tuesday morning someone in the parking garage said the airport was closed.  Closed?  That seemed absurd.  And yet, it was true.  The world was a mess and they were stranded in Westchester crashing at the apartment of a coworker they barely new.  There were no flights home.  There were no rental cars.  But there was a bus.  A bus that picked them up, drove through Manhattan past the smoldering rubble, upstate and then back across to the Great Lakes region.  It took more than 24 hours but they did arrive safely back in Chicago. 

And in an unexpected move, I was one of the first phone calls Mr. Brown made after arriving home that Friday.  September 14^th, 2001.  I will always consider that our anniversary.  He called and asked me to get together that night.  I came over, we ate dinner and in an attempt at irony and humor to lighten the mood we watched Planes, Trains and Automobiles.  And it felt like coming home to me.  I don’t know if it was the trauma of the week or just that we were both in the right mental state at the right time but things just felt right.

But it wasn’t that easy.  I was still casual with the other guy.  And over the next week I found that both he and Mr. Brown were calling to go out.  ACK!  It was like feast or famine for me, I swear.  There were either 2 guys or none.  But, being the fair-minded person that I am, once I said yes to a date with a guy on a particular night I wouldn’t cancel those plans for a late caller.  And Mr. Brown called first.  This is not to imply that had he been the 2^nd caller that I would have ended up with the other guy – far from it in fact – that guy was definitely not my future Mister.  It does mean that he was out of the picture faster than he might otherwise have been.

Things were smooth sailing for us.  We were dating.  Officially.  I went home with him for Thanksgiving and met the family.  I went home with him for the extended family Christmas party.  We planned a ski vacation to Colorado with his roommate and his fiancée.  We went on a long-weekend trip to Galena, Illinois for a prepatory ski trip at Chestnut Mountain. 

But nothing ever stays smooth for long, now does it?

Project Week

As I mentioned, my parents are coming this week.  They should be arriving tonight.  Assuming they didn’t lose their shirts (and car) at the casinos in Las Vegas on the way.  (Seriously, though, I’m pretty sure my dad doesn’t like to gamble so if they did lose their shirts I’m blaming it all on mom.) 

While I know they are here to see the kids (and possibly me and Mr. Brown if we happen to be standing nearby – I have no illusions that they come to visit me anymore), it’s also a good time to put their exceptional skills around the house to work.  So I’ve been making my project list.  I’m thinking of offering them a list and asking them to choose 2 from column A, 1 from column B, and 1 stretch assignment from column C.  Of course, that might result in not having any parent visits for a long while afterward.

So I’ll just say these are the list of things *I* want to accomplish and if they happen to *want* to help because I’m so inept then so be it.

• 
  
  Sew up a hole in Allison’s giant yellow floor pillow
  
  
  
• 
  
  Make curtains for the sliding glass door
  
  
  
• 
  
  Build toy shelves for the family room
  
  
  
• 
  
  Paint the guest/room office mismatched furniture
  
  
  
• 
  
  Paint a few frames I bought at the Goodwill to hang in the bathrooms with my own photo prints
  
  
  
• 
  
  Figure out how to use our already cramped ½ bath/laundry room as a mud room for the kids coats & hats
  
  
  

I’m sure there are other things but these are the big ones. 

Anyone else want to come by and help?

'Tis the Season

… for visitors that is.  We are getting ready to start on a whirlwind two months of visitors.  This week my parents will be arriving.  They are driving out for the first time.  They’ve been here several times but have always flown.  I’m looking forward to their visit.  They haven’t seen the kids in a few months and I think they will be surprised by how big they are now.

Following that, my dear friend and Allison’s godmother Katie will be visiting in November.  I am sooooo excited about this visit.  I don’t get to see her nearly enough.  We have seen each other through so many life changes, excitements and challenges in the last 15 years.  And no matter how long between visits or conversations, things are always just easy.  She gets me in ways that so many others don’t.  Thinking about her visit makes me want to squeal like a school-girl.

And then Mr. Brown’s parents will be arriving after Thanksgiving for a long weekend.  They are brave enough to fly during that crazy, volatile weather time of year and we are so grateful. 

So our guest room is getting primped and ready.  And we are getting very excited to have our favorite people come and share our life for a short while.

If anyone else wants to visit, we’d love to have you. 

Hurricane Toddler

When we had just one child, even when we had just one toddler, I was reasonably able to keep up on housework.  Things were not perfect but in general rooms were picked up and presentable should someone unexpectedly stop by.

Now that there are two tiny tornados that run through my house each day I have found it IMPOSSIBLE to keep things at an acceptable level of chaos.  There is always something... toys strewn about, miscellaneous bits of toast or waffle on the floors, missing sippy cups that turn up underneath recliners, and just general bedlam.

Given my health issues and business we have agreed to bring someone in every other week to do the real cleaning.  And that is a huge blessing.  They get the floors and toilets clean and change the sheets.  I'm actually not quite sure how we did it before they started coming.  But even with that it just seems to spiral out of control daily.  Don't misread me here... I am not looking for perfection or a spotless house or passing the white glove test.  Far from it.  I can handle a certain level of dishevelment.  But almost every day it passes my threshold. 

I have routines.  Sort of.  We make sure to do the dinner dishes every night, wipe down the table and counters and sweep the kitchen.  We pick up toys before bedtime.  And yet nearly daily I find myself rushing to get out of the house and so things that I would have intended to pick up before leaving for the day are left for when we get home.  And when we get home it's a whirlwind of dinner, playtime, bathtime & bedtime followed by an exhausted me and Mr Brown trudging through the absolutely necessary chores and leaving the rest for tomorrow.

Getting up earlier is not an option.  My alarm already rings at 5am and that's only if the oldest tornado doesn't wake me sooner.  I can't be functional before 5.  Not gonna happen.

So, moms with more than one toddler... how do you do it?