Juggling and Struggling

I've been thinking a lot lately about my role as a woman, wife and mother. There is so much emphasis today on marriages being a partnership and about doing our "fair" share and splitting things equally around the home. And while I certainly see marriage as a partnership, I'm not so sure about the 50/50 split.

First, to me it sounds like there is exactly X amount of effort that is required to maintain a household and that each of us needs to put in our fair share so that it adds up to that 100%. But life doesn't really work that way. In a marriage, each person has specific tasks that fall primarily to them - due to either skill, desire, biblical principle or luck of the draw. And within those tasks that are primarily ours, I believe we each have the responsibility of giving 100% effort to those tasks. Occasionally our spouse and children may assist us with those things but in the end the responsibility is ours to keep the item on course.

There's a lot of writings on biblical womanhood. Now, I'm not suggesting that I (or anyone else) needs to follow any kind of legalistic guideline as to what is a "woman's work" or a "man's work". We are all given unique abilities and gifts. I happen to love working with numbers and solving problems. As a result, in our house, I manage the day-to-day of the budgets and try to do initial research issues in our house that need tending to. Mr. Brown is a very sweet-natured, not-easily-agitated kind of man (a disposition I am not so much blessed with). As a result, he's better as the driver when we go anywhere as a family and he's able to calmly work through issues that might otherwise have me riled up. You have to work to your talents. And when neither of you has a talent in an area, well, then it is up for grabs as to who should take on a particular task.

But back to my godly woman thoughts.... the truth is, that despite having a full-time (paid) job, my heart is with my home and my children. For right now, my job meets the financial needs of our family and does provide me with some enjoyment. But first and foremost, I feel called to be a loving wife and good mother. (I do not believe having a full-time job prevents either of those, just that my husband and children come before my job. I admire all mothers who are able to manage their households well - whether being at home full time or holding another job in addition. I do, however, really dislike the term "full-time mother." Being a working-outside-the-home mom does not in any way make me or anyone else a part-time mother. I am a mother ALWAYS, whether my children are with me or not. And moms who have share custody of their children with an ex-spouse are full-time motheres as well. Just because they aren't physically with their children all day, every day does not in any way diminish their motherhood.)

Lately however, I've been struggling to balance the demands of my work-life with my heart-calling for my family and home. I've tried researching how others do it and most of what I've found is from stay-at-home mothers. And while that may someday be our reality, it is not today. For now, balancing my relationship with God, my marriage, my motherhood, my home duties and my work are a reality. But the truth is that I'm not so much balancing as quickly shifting from one to another and never quite feeling caught up in any of them.

Have any of you found techniques that work for finding the right balance in your life among competing priorities? I'd love to hear from you. In the meantime, expect a few more posts on this topic. I have a feeling it's going to be on my mind for quite a while now.